Chicken or the Egg, 'tism or the Kink?
OK, so this is an adult 'tism take on a topic which is widely interpreted as, and can become a kink in adulthood. Some of my sensory quirks of autism are weird, even from my well-practised and ancient point of view... others sensory points are quite regular, such as cutting the labels / tags out from clothing in contact with skin.
So... the weird one, and I honestly think the 'tism comes first. Some of my earliest memories, from around the age of say six / seven involve thoughts and feelings of being restrained. This was a time before the internet when the only exposure I had to restraint was through old Western movies where someone would invariably get tied up with rope. I was obsessed with this, and as soon as the opportunity arose I started experimenting with dressing gown ties... whatever would work. I was a child, there was no hint of sexual thrill in my mind - this was long before puberty!
When experimenting with restraint, I would feel relaxed, at home, and would often fall asleep, or if during the night, sleep very soundly. I've read that a lot of autistic people like weighted blankets which may be a more adult (and widely accepted) form of this, the feeling of being tightly held etc.
From those early years the internet happened in the mid 1990s (my undiagnosed 20's), and then I discovered a whole bunch of people liked to be tied up / restrained... You can see where this is going, right? So it developed with me as somewhat of a fetish, and with adult emotions became a thing - I've had a lot of partners in this over the years. This is where it gets interesting for me. For the last decade or so, the restraint has been less of a kink, more of a way to just relax.
It's like 'apply bonds on the outside, free the mind on the inside' (this is also a saying in the kink community - freedom through bondage) - this whole thing has gone full circle. I'd watch cop shows and see people handcuffed, being jealous as they were forced not to move. With my wife we'd 'play', but it would be more of a sexual / kink / game for her. Several times over the years I was admonished for falling asleep in the middle of what could be called a bondage game. LOL, seriously LOL - it would be one of the few times my mind would just fucking empty, and it was fantastic. All the world would compress into a tight bright point in my mind, leaving serene quiet darkness behind.
I do think that when bound, responsibility is removed, peace is enforced as you can't do anything about it, just relax into it and, yes, it's possible, think of NOTHING, which for me as a late diagnosed autistic person is quite something, it's something which simply isn't possible in normal existence.
There's a lot of shame around in admitting something like this, and whilst (typically autistic) I've been open about having this 'hobby' over the years, some people... well, they'll just run away from it, and hide in shame. There needn't be shame around this, from either perspective of just liking what you do from a neurotypical point of view, or just finding relief as an autistic person - people are just people, do whatever makes you happy and healthy so long as no harm befalls anyone else! As is said, keep it Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
So yeah, this is an admission that through the 'tism lens, being restrained (for me at least!) is a massively efficient way of quieting my mind and getting some incredibly deep rest, actual rest! Wanna see a fully excited autistic human go from ninety miles an hour to zero, tie them up and watch them sleep in seconds! It has been a method I've used to cope with stress for decades, but now I've realised what it is. If this is you also, you ain't alone - just be safe.