Dealing with the daily 'tism-rage
So... 'tism rage?
There is a point in the day when the rage hits, it could be upon waking up, and you know, you just know something isn't right on the day, and nothing will calm you down enough to reach your base level. It's usually a sign of persistent overwhelm, the approaching storm of burnout which is that thin sliver of reality too close. It could be after masking all day, the shields drop, and boom, the 'tism-rage hits.
When I had someone else, long before my diagnosis, I'd have to have a half hour to an hour of quiet time to get in and re-centre myself before being fit to speak to other humans. At the time it was a puzzle as to why... I think neurotypicals suffer from this a little too, but it's more stress driven than owt else, and certainly not a daily experience in most cases.
Now after a diagnosis, I know, I know it's the 'tism, the cost of masking; it's why daily care and kindness to myself is a must, to keep the 'tism-rage-monster caged, to keep the burnout an essential extra sliver of reality away.
Catching it early has become essential, being aware of that vague initial feelings of the walls closing in, the small, really small and insignificant things being classified as threats and the direct uncontrolled reactions. Mitigating at that stage is a lot easier than letting the 'tism-rage grow. Taking myself out of the situation, sitting in the car for half hour, going for a walk, doing something simple is always a good call rather than uncaging the monster.
Watching the basic requirements of existence is always a great start to head this off. Eat, drink, hydrate, break the hyper-focus and ensure the baseline biology functions in the background. Failure can boot right into 'tism-rage, and not knowing why until afterwards sucks.
If the worst case scenario hits, and after a few minutes of rage the realisation hits like ... "WTF am I doing?", then it's time to really take critically urgent action and change the scene, go do something else, go take a tranquliaier, eat/drink, remove the variables kicking you off. The kicker in this is that even mental processes can trigger this, and it's fucking hard to stop and think of other things - in this case, go do something shiny and give your brain the "oh, look, a squirrel" moment. As a last resort, for me individually, this is where the quad-shot of vodka comes in - numbs my brain just enough to be almost neurotypical for an enough time to get my shit together. Ironically Vodka has saved me more times than I can count.