Diagnostics and Resources
If you're reading this, the chances are that you're either going through a diagnosis, building up to one, or are somewhere in the process. Be in no doubt there is a process, every word I've read about this, listened to, or watched via video has come to the same conclusion. The very fact that you're here means there is something in your head, screaming, absolutely screaming 'tism. Put it to rest and do the research, this can be a springboard, and I'm not going to re-create the wheel - there is so much resource out there in one form or another you'll be drowning.
If it's not obvious - this article is aimed at adults, not children, this is about late diagnosis after a lifetime of being too tired all the time as your brain is going 40%+ extra work just existing; a lifetime of being told you're wrong, a life time of being gas-lit by neurotypicals (don't hate, they're (mainly) innocent). This is about getting older, and the support mechanisms breaking down.
The overall series of steps are:
- Realisation
- Introspection
- Videos and Tests
- Impostor Syndrome
- More tests, comparing known autistic traits to you
- Recording what you think applies to yourself
- Looking at your life through a 'tism lens
- Sorrow
- Hope
- Getting an actual diagnosis
- Leaning that you're probably more disabled / autistic than you thought possible
- Getting on with life and building those essential coping mechanisms consciously
I feel your pain - if you're reading this you're already at the point of looking for info and tests, here are a couple:
After the tests comes the rest of symptom matching. For my own experience, and that's the only one I can truthfully speak of - I matched by watching videos on youtube until exhausted, I also read as much as I could from a wide source of sites. AI helped - I know it sounds stupid, but it did. As an autistic person you'll have an innate bullshit sensor, so it'll be quite easy for you to detect and discard it - when you see proper stimming you'll know what it is, as you'll have been there.
I wrote down symptom match after match when watching and reading about this, a massive unorganised list in my phone notes (yes, use the tech and record everything as you think of it). Go through your life with the new 'tism lens, write down your life story, what you think it influenced, your relationships, your employment, your sensitivities to touch, taste, noise, light etc. Include everything.
When you're done with the list (don't expect this to be short step), feed the text to AI with the prompt to produce a report for a clinical psychologist with an eye to an autism assessment. At the start of an assessment process, as well as the obvious test results, give the report to the clinic performing your assessment - this will speed up the process and confirmation - the more information they have, the better. This was especially important for me - during the process, they may speak to close friends or family who have known you since childhood - in my case I didn't have anyone (it's a common problem in late diagnosis!), so the more information I could recall and make available, the better.
Each experience with a clinic will be different, the amount of time they take will be different, the whole thing from start to finish is unique to everyone, as everyone who is autistic (a physical different in the brain!!!) will have a whole bunch of symptoms, you will not have the same identical symptoms as everyone else. No, not everyone is on the spectrum - the word spectrum is a misleading term. It more a person is or isn't autistic, and if they are, they will have a unique combination of experiences / symptoms. Depending on the individual source of information you'll absorb, it's between 1 and 4% of the general population are autistic.
One thing which really shocked me is the lack of support out there for adult late diagnosed autistic people - it's basically, here's your diagnosis, no we're not telling you if you're low / medium / high support requirements, make your own best guess... There can be follow up meetings, but how useful they'll be is a guess! From reading, endless reading, I know I'm low to medium support requirements - It's still fucking hard though - life can truly suck.
The final step, the one which nobody talks about is long after diagnosis and getting your letter from the clinic - it's combined want-to-be-an-impostor, and an deep seated anger at nature / biology at your brain. We're all electrical ghosts piloting a meat body.
It ain't all bad though. Nature does give and take, and where it took it may give. There are no "autistic superpowers". There is a chance that as your brain does 40%+ more processing than the neuro-typical, there's a chance you're better at some things, and have some "unusual" traits compared to the rest of the populace. I'll go into this in further details in more articles. For myself, it's an innate understanding of computers. I also have a very visual imagination where I can focus down to the most miniscule detail of a mental image. I can also imaging flavours - taste, look, smell a dish then go make it from the collection of spices / flavours / ingredients in my kitchen. Next is hearing - this is a dual benefit and a curse - I can hear so much, all the time, it's exhausting, on the other hand I can hear everything. Go figure. Is this a benefit or hazard?
Bottom up processing. This is still a term I don't fully grasp, however in essence from what I understand is autistic people look at individual elements, and go from there, looking less at whole pictures. For me specifically this means that when I listen to, or read words, then my 'tism brain goes off and breaks down each word, each letter of each word, and spins off a universe of possibilities for the word or the sentence. I don't read therapy as therapy, but instead the first word found gets split, and I end up with "the rapy", or therapist, as "the rapist" - a small but very salient example. It's sometimes useful, as I sometimes spot things others do not.
I think this applies to everything, I see everything as base components. I'm driven to find out how things work, as then my 'tism brain will be satisfied it knows all the moving parts and can then go on it's happy journey predicting the future with an accuracy Cassandra would be proud of. Also, if you haven't already guessed, pattern matching with everything you know is a common thing - zing - you'll be speaking in references to basically everything and sometimes be surprised when your audience doesn't know. I was frequently told as a young man that I have the language of a lawyer, leaving nothing to chance or interpretation, welcome to the 'tism.
More to follow in other articles. BTW: I'm a geek with 80+ wpm typing skills, never been taught, but the kb is an extension of meat sack body now ;)