The curse of Autistic Awareness
I'm aware of where I am, and what's happening around me at all times. My brain processes input from the world with a clarity which genuinely hurts and drains. For example when at school I remember being able to predict what was happening behind me in the playground, when working in shops I was able to predict a lot of what was going to happen with people, items, stock levels etc - To observers this seemed like magic sometimes. It's not magic, it's autistic pattern matching and information absorption beyond what a neurotypical can do, it's the 40% extra.
Is this a benefit of a hazard? Depends. Is this exhausting? Completely, and continually.
Most drivers on the UKs busy and cramped roads develop some kind of prediction, for me... well even my wife would wonder WTF when in the car with me... I can and do predict what people will do, I'm able to pickup on subtle road positioning, off by a a couple of inches, I see see into the future and know what people will do - and it's very accurate. Saved me a few times. I see the scummy selfish nature of others, the driver who's going to cut everyone up, the blockers, the idiots, the drivers not paying attention. It's silly, in my head it's like having a fucking radar - it ain't though, it's a continually refreshing bunch of potential universes which are being updated in realtime. Don't get me wrong, it's not always 'conscious', and I'm safely focused on the road ahead, but there's an active subsystem on high alert feeding relevant details in. Several times when learning to drive, I'd stop the car in a hurry and be like WTF is going on... then I'd know that prediction and object avoidance had kicked in.
Once upon a time before I had the knowledge of what this is... I used to be annoyed by people, their actions, and especially their lack of situational and spacial awareness, viewing them as mindless idiots standing around blocking everyone else, or causing chaos, or being bunch of selfish twats. Now I know that neurotypicals, allistics, they don't have the same level of situational and spacial awareness, they're just going through life with their brains peacefully on DEFCON 5, blissfully unaware of everything going on around them. It's an enviable position for me.
Even gets to the point in supermarkets where people are just blissfully unaware how fucking rude they are blocking isles, products etc. I'm aware of what's around me, who's around me, and if I'm working out to be a rude twat blocking others from their business. Even those close to me did the same thing, lacking this level of nerve jangling intensity of awareness, and I was like WTF are you doing... no fucking clues lol
Can't speak for any other Autistic people, but this is my take on the 40%. I think if Autistic people were computers, we'd have CPUs overclocked to 140% continually running hot, but having PCI busses and memory which can't keep up.
So yes. Both a benefit and a hazard giving it large at exactly the same time. The Curse of Autistic Awareness.